Lola's Teen Years

1. Lola's peer relationships have been important to her overall development. The teenage years are a time when kids are exploring and creating an identity, and friends can play a big role in that. Over the years, Lola has always been well-liked with many friends. She is somewhat of a social butterfly. I am confident that her frequent interactions with her peers in and outside of school have helped develop interpersonal competence. From an emotional well-being standpoint, having many friends was really important because Lola had a strong support system and trusted friends she could talk to. Academically, Lola is a high achiever and participates in many clubs. She is especially passionate about science. Interacting with her peers in these academic-based settings fostered Lola's passion and engagement with science specifically.

2. Since she was a little girl, Lola has always loved to laugh. As she got older, she began understanding how to use humor to lighten the mood and put things into perspective. I think this strengthened the relationship I have with Lola, as well as her relationship with her father. There is less arguing because we both are able to use humor at appropriate times. I would think this new ability will also serve Lola well with her peers for the same reasons. She is able to head of unnecessary conflicts by using humor appropriately. 

Influences on Development from ages 8-12

There are many things that have influenced Lola's development. Four of the biggest impacts on Lola's development are described below.

1. When Lola was 8, her father and I divorced. Initially, Lola blamed herself for the divorce and was uncharacteristically argumentative with her father and me. At such a young age, it was hard for Lola to understand what divorce meant other than the fact that her father no longer lives with us and she only sees him on the weekends. This significant shift in her routine and way of life contributed to her argumentative behavior. Her father and I have made efforts to communicate frequently about the children. We do not want them to suffer because of our divorce. I think Lola was able to bounce back so quickly because her father and I both supported her and demonstrated our caring for her when she was going through a tough time. 

2. When Lola was 10, she had a run-in with a bully that would call her names and spread mean rumors about her. I encouraged Lola to stand up for herself. If the bullying had persisted, I would have considered getting the principal involved, but I wanted Lola to learn that she is strong and capable of handling situations on her own. She hasn't had any bullying issues since. I believe that this strengthened Lola's sense of self because she was able to overcome an obstacle on her own. 

3. Also when Lola was 10, she got to go on science camping trip and spend a week in the mountains. Lola truly loves science, so she was very excited about the opportunity. This camping trip also afforded Lola an opportunity to stay away from home all by herself for the first time. This is developmentally important because Lola is learning to be independent, which again is contributing to her sense of self. She is also learning responsibility, which has a positive impact on her behavior. 

4. Over the years, I have noticed and Lola's teachers have consistently commented that Lola has many friends and is a leader. I believe she developed social and leadership skills by participating in science camps and playing on soccer and softball teams with other kids, as well as playing informally with kids at daycare and in the neighborhood when she was younger. She is kind, fair, and takes initiative. These positive peer interactions have had a big impact on Lola's sense of self.  

Ages 6-11

A. Lola is adapting wonderfully to the school social environment and peer group. Her first grade report card indicates that she is able to work well cooperatively and independently, as the situation calls for it. She is respectful of the rights and possessions of others and interacts appropriately with peers. She also is able to follow the classroom rules, listen, and follow directions. I believe these are fairly stable personality characteristics of Lola's. When she was younger, assessments also described Lola as able to work well with others and on her own. She is a pretty easy-going child, so this does not surprise me. From a young age, Lola has been cooperative, and continues to be so as she grows up.

B. Lola is adapting to social situations inside and outside of the home well. She is well-liked at school and has many friends. She likes to participate in softball, soccer, and science camps with other kids. At home, she likes to play with the neighborhood kids and her younger sister Leah. Her dad and I recently divorced. I was concerned this might affect Lola at school, but her teacher did not notice a difference in behavior. At home Lola is less cheerful than usual, but seemed to bounce back pretty soon. Lola and Leah live with me primarily but are able to spend the weekends with their father, which I believe is helpful in allowing the girls to bounce back. Other than that, there are no behavioral or emotional problems that have surfaced. Report cards have indicated that Lola occasionally gets stressed or frustrated, but gets over it pretty quickly. Lola seems to be happy and healthy!