Influences on Development from ages 8-12
There are many things that have influenced Lola's development. Four of the biggest impacts on Lola's development are described below.
1. When Lola was 8, her father and I divorced. Initially, Lola blamed herself for the divorce and was uncharacteristically argumentative with her father and me. At such a young age, it was hard for Lola to understand what divorce meant other than the fact that her father no longer lives with us and she only sees him on the weekends. This significant shift in her routine and way of life contributed to her argumentative behavior. Her father and I have made efforts to communicate frequently about the children. We do not want them to suffer because of our divorce. I think Lola was able to bounce back so quickly because her father and I both supported her and demonstrated our caring for her when she was going through a tough time.
2. When Lola was 10, she had a run-in with a bully that would call her names and spread mean rumors about her. I encouraged Lola to stand up for herself. If the bullying had persisted, I would have considered getting the principal involved, but I wanted Lola to learn that she is strong and capable of handling situations on her own. She hasn't had any bullying issues since. I believe that this strengthened Lola's sense of self because she was able to overcome an obstacle on her own.
3. Also when Lola was 10, she got to go on science camping trip and spend a week in the mountains. Lola truly loves science, so she was very excited about the opportunity. This camping trip also afforded Lola an opportunity to stay away from home all by herself for the first time. This is developmentally important because Lola is learning to be independent, which again is contributing to her sense of self. She is also learning responsibility, which has a positive impact on her behavior.
4. Over the years, I have noticed and Lola's teachers have consistently commented that Lola has many friends and is a leader. I believe she developed social and leadership skills by participating in science camps and playing on soccer and softball teams with other kids, as well as playing informally with kids at daycare and in the neighborhood when she was younger. She is kind, fair, and takes initiative. These positive peer interactions have had a big impact on Lola's sense of self.
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