Lola's Teen Years

1. Lola's peer relationships have been important to her overall development. The teenage years are a time when kids are exploring and creating an identity, and friends can play a big role in that. Over the years, Lola has always been well-liked with many friends. She is somewhat of a social butterfly. I am confident that her frequent interactions with her peers in and outside of school have helped develop interpersonal competence. From an emotional well-being standpoint, having many friends was really important because Lola had a strong support system and trusted friends she could talk to. Academically, Lola is a high achiever and participates in many clubs. She is especially passionate about science. Interacting with her peers in these academic-based settings fostered Lola's passion and engagement with science specifically.

2. Since she was a little girl, Lola has always loved to laugh. As she got older, she began understanding how to use humor to lighten the mood and put things into perspective. I think this strengthened the relationship I have with Lola, as well as her relationship with her father. There is less arguing because we both are able to use humor at appropriate times. I would think this new ability will also serve Lola well with her peers for the same reasons. She is able to head of unnecessary conflicts by using humor appropriately. 

Influences on Development from ages 8-12

There are many things that have influenced Lola's development. Four of the biggest impacts on Lola's development are described below.

1. When Lola was 8, her father and I divorced. Initially, Lola blamed herself for the divorce and was uncharacteristically argumentative with her father and me. At such a young age, it was hard for Lola to understand what divorce meant other than the fact that her father no longer lives with us and she only sees him on the weekends. This significant shift in her routine and way of life contributed to her argumentative behavior. Her father and I have made efforts to communicate frequently about the children. We do not want them to suffer because of our divorce. I think Lola was able to bounce back so quickly because her father and I both supported her and demonstrated our caring for her when she was going through a tough time. 

2. When Lola was 10, she had a run-in with a bully that would call her names and spread mean rumors about her. I encouraged Lola to stand up for herself. If the bullying had persisted, I would have considered getting the principal involved, but I wanted Lola to learn that she is strong and capable of handling situations on her own. She hasn't had any bullying issues since. I believe that this strengthened Lola's sense of self because she was able to overcome an obstacle on her own. 

3. Also when Lola was 10, she got to go on science camping trip and spend a week in the mountains. Lola truly loves science, so she was very excited about the opportunity. This camping trip also afforded Lola an opportunity to stay away from home all by herself for the first time. This is developmentally important because Lola is learning to be independent, which again is contributing to her sense of self. She is also learning responsibility, which has a positive impact on her behavior. 

4. Over the years, I have noticed and Lola's teachers have consistently commented that Lola has many friends and is a leader. I believe she developed social and leadership skills by participating in science camps and playing on soccer and softball teams with other kids, as well as playing informally with kids at daycare and in the neighborhood when she was younger. She is kind, fair, and takes initiative. These positive peer interactions have had a big impact on Lola's sense of self.  

Ages 6-11

A. Lola is adapting wonderfully to the school social environment and peer group. Her first grade report card indicates that she is able to work well cooperatively and independently, as the situation calls for it. She is respectful of the rights and possessions of others and interacts appropriately with peers. She also is able to follow the classroom rules, listen, and follow directions. I believe these are fairly stable personality characteristics of Lola's. When she was younger, assessments also described Lola as able to work well with others and on her own. She is a pretty easy-going child, so this does not surprise me. From a young age, Lola has been cooperative, and continues to be so as she grows up.

B. Lola is adapting to social situations inside and outside of the home well. She is well-liked at school and has many friends. She likes to participate in softball, soccer, and science camps with other kids. At home, she likes to play with the neighborhood kids and her younger sister Leah. Her dad and I recently divorced. I was concerned this might affect Lola at school, but her teacher did not notice a difference in behavior. At home Lola is less cheerful than usual, but seemed to bounce back pretty soon. Lola and Leah live with me primarily but are able to spend the weekends with their father, which I believe is helpful in allowing the girls to bounce back. Other than that, there are no behavioral or emotional problems that have surfaced. Report cards have indicated that Lola occasionally gets stressed or frustrated, but gets over it pretty quickly. Lola seems to be happy and healthy!

2-5 Years

A. Lola is progressing favorably in regards to early childhood issues. She knows our household rules and routines. She demonstrates good self-control. As she has gotten older, she has progressively improved her ability to get along with others, both adults and children, and work cooperatively. At this point, Lola does not have any behavioral or emotional problems. For a time after her sister Leah was born, Lola displayed some regressive behaviors. My husband and I recognized that Lola felt that she was not getting enough attention with the new baby. We make it a point to spend one-on-one time interacting with Lola. We also have involved Lola in caring for and playing with her sister. Lola has proudly embraced the role of big sister, which helped her get over the regressive behaviors. 

B. Based on parenting questionnaires, our family is above average in warmth and affection, as well as slightly above average in discipline and control exercised with Lola. These factors are influenced by our socioeconomic and cultural contexts. Lola is a naturally curious child, so we try to take her to visit museums, zoos, puppet shows, etc. from time to time. Our family has this luxury, whereas others may not, because both my husband and myself work and therefore we are financially stable. We also frequently read and talk to Lola, which has helped to improve her vocabulary and ability to hold a conversation, skills that are valued in our society. My husband and I both spend time with Lola. In other cultures, the mother may primarily interact with the children. We feel it is important for Lola to see that her mother and her father can interchangeably take on different roles around the house. We reinforce this concept by letting Lola participate in non-stereotyped activities and play and talking with her about gender and stereotypes at an age-appropriate level. This is also a cultural value that we are instilling in Lola, but that she may not learn if she had been raised in another part of the world. We are trying to strike a balance between letting Lola develop her independence and developing her ability to work well with others. At home, my husband and I do not jump in and help with her play or help her solve a problem unless requested to increase her problem solving ability and independence. At daycare and now at school, Lola is learning to work cooperatively with others. We reinforce this by organizing play dates with a few of Lola's friends from school. In our culture, both working independently and working cooperatively are important at different times, so we are trying to develop both skills in Lola. 

C. Based on Lola's pre-kindergarten assessment, I believe she has a resilient personality type. She is easy-going and does not get upset or flustered when under mild stress. She is cooperative and works well with other children. She does great with her peer group and quickly made several friends during the kindergarten prep session. Lola also does a good job of regulating her emotions. The teacher told us that Lola is able to focus and does not become distracted easily. She did an excellent job of adapting to the practice kindergarten sessions and following the rules. My husband and I couldn't be prouder of Lola!

Birth to 2

A. Lola has a strong preference for me, with her dad a strong second. This shows that she is forming a secure attachment to both of us. This occurs because my husband and I show Lola that we are loving and caring and she interprets these as good intentions, even if we make a mistake. At 3 months old, Lola is very interested in studying faces and is interested in everything around her. She goes to a home daycare provider when my husband and I are at work.

At 8 months old, Lola is scared of strangers. She has object permanence, but looks in the same spot for the hidden toy even  after she watches me move it. At daycare, Lola cries a little bit when we drop her off, but she usually gets over it fairly quickly. At her 8 month check-up, the doctor says Lola is securely attached to both myself and my husband. She is unsure of new people, such as the doctor and the nurse, which is normal. Although cautious at first, when given time to warm up to new people and situations, Lola verbalizes and makes eye contact a lot. The doctor says that Lola's gross and fine motor skills are advanced for a baby of her age!

B.  We decide to have a developmental assessment done on Lola at 19 months, just to see how she is doing compared to other kids. Lola's temperament has been stable throughout the first 18 months. Lola is a very mentally and physically active child. Lola was more cooperative than aggressive, unless a child tried to take a toy away from her, in which case she resisted. We need to work on her social interactions (she is a bit slow to warm up to new people), so we will try to schedule more play groups to improve her sociability. Lola is not overly emotional. She has a level of self control that you would expect for a 19 month old. My husband and I try to match our behavior to Lola's temperament to ensure a goodness of fit. We let Lola's natural curiosity lead the way. The doctor says that Lola shows good concentration and memory and scored above average in language development, which indicates Lola will be ready for preschool relatively soon!

Welcome to the World, Lola!

Lola was born on June 17, 2014!